Tropical Storm Beryl and My Quest For a Burger

This past week brought much needed rain to our area and as usual with too much of anything I got a little wet. As I watched the rain pour down I realized I was in need of sustenance to get me through this media hyped storm. So, I headed to my car which was tucked safely in the garage and headed out in search of a bite to eat.

I had no grand plans of a multi course meal at a 5 star restaurant or to even to sit down in a local restaurant.  My taste on that rather wet and stormy day was for something quick and easy at any of the many drive through's in the area. I quickly received a lesson in gravity and architecture.

On that fateful day I chose Wendy's in the La Plaza Grande Shopping Center. Pulling up to the menu sign to place my order I began to realize the folly of this trip. At the very moment I lowered the window, the god of fast food denial, Bloomberg, literally rained his displeasure down upon me for even considering fatty fast food. Undaunted, I quickly placed my order and raised my window.

Proceeding to the payment window the down pour increased to a fervor which made me think the media hype was not so much hype after all.  And I should have heeded their and Bloomberg's warnings; went shopping before the storm made land fall and cooked my meal in the safety of my own dry home. But I forged forward, taking solace in knowing I was doing my part in helping the economy on that day and if the workers could brave the weather than so could I.

My first lesson in architecture and gravity came as I made the turn to pay for the meal that now awaited me. Jutting from the side of the building was the payment window for which the faceless order taker directed me to go in order to pay for the bagged delights that awaited me.

To my horror, this money taking protuberance jutting from the side of the building, with its Spanish tiled roof, steeply pitched in a manner that the original architect knowingly planned in anticipation of me and this day was a wall of water. With no thought of an overhang to protect weary travelers from the elements or a rain gutter with down spout to gently carry away the water. Nope. No doubt the architect aced Funnel 101 in school because the sheet of water pouring from his design created a wall of water that would make any water park proud.

Still undaunted, I pulled up to the window. Now, with this violent sheet of water between me and payment window I could only get so close to the window. Any closer and the deluge of water would have gone pouring right into my window drowning me and more importantly ruining the interior of my car. So, with window up I waited for some sign of life from inside the dry and warm restaurant.

After a few moments, trying hard to see through the wall of water, the payment window inched opened and four little fingers emerged. Wiggling, the fingers invited me to lower my window and extend my arm with payment in hand and plunge it through the water wall which was now at its most ferocious. At this point, nearly starving to death and dizzy from the lack of food for several hours, I thrust my arm forward, cash in hand, and the little fingers snatched the money and disappeared into the warm, dry abyss. I quickly raised my window and assessed the watery damage.

A moment later the wiggly fingers emerged again through the window holding my change between the middle and index finger. The process was repeated again but in a more earnest manner that only experience brings. Window down, thrust arm through sheet of water, grab change, retreat quickly, close window.

Pleased with my self I looked up and saw the same sadistic structure in front of me again. This time they had my money And my food. So, if I wanted my bag of nirvana the unholy act needed to be repeated again. My heart sank, but I mustered up enough strength and drove to the next window.

The sheet of water was even more intense at this window. Both Newton and Bloomberg conspiring against me now. But there would be no wiggly fingers at the window this time. He had my bag and he had to open that window wide. He was the one who was going to have thrust his arm through the wall of water this time. My spirits buoyed as I was now in the drivers seat.

With window up I could see the water distorted figure staring at me, anticipating the punishment he now knew he was going to receive. The same punishment I received moments earlier at the hands of his coconspirator. I herd his trembling voice yell "ready" through the sheet of water and glass! No doubt to bolster his courage and to intimidate me.

I nodded and began lowering my window. But before my window was even completely down and with precision timing, his window flew open the bag came flying in and then the window closing as fast as it had opened. The package having landed perfectly in my lap.

I sat stunned as the torrents of water poured in. I looked up and saw his watery figure staring down at me from inside his warm and dry lair. The water cascading in, drenching my face and arm it snapped me back to reality and I quickly raised my window and drove off.

Yesterday I went to the store and bought 10 cans of assorted soup.